THE WOES OF LONG NAILS

V Nice Amirite?

09/02/2019

It's been 9 hours now that I've gone from very short nails to very long nails. "Ha-ha" you might say. Which means you couldn't possibly know of the state I'm currently in. 

So far, the only positives of getting pointy shellac ferrari red nails has been that they look badass, they're great for picking your teeth and that my cats are doubly enthusiastic about neck scratches. That's it.

I didn't exactly think this through...all that was going through my head was "TREAT YOSELF MAMA!". And so, on my way home from Coles, I stopped by at the Fremantle Nail Salon and booked an appointment for the next hour. 

If you know know me, you'll know that despite my feminine appearance - I'm far from it. So much so that, my mother used to say that she has three sons not two. Yeah I was the third son lols. Being a tomboy majority of my childhood still affects my knowledge of certain feminine things to this day. 

Exhibit A - Nails Salons. I had NO idea what Shellac was until my cousin got married (I was 23yo) - let alone the process. And I was today years old (25yo) when I found out that there was another fake nail type called SNS (I actually googled it to make sure I was right lols). Anyway, you can also get the option of extending your nails with 'tips'. I did that. It took a while before we decided on what to do because the lady was explaining each fake nail type to me. 

I settled on shellac cause I wanted short term nails. This whole process just reminded me of sculpting a sculpture tbh. First, they used this tool to smooth out the nail. It reminded me of the tool dentists use to remove plaque (lols) but bigger. Then they super-glued these plastic nail bits, cut them off to the length that I "desired", and filed them into the shape I wanted. Then they used some sort of powder mixed with water and set it onto the nail like a mold. I'm assuming this was the shellac part? Back in again with the plaque remover to shape and a coat of something (base coat?). And then a coat of your colour. Dryer. Another coat of colour. Dryer. Top coat. Dryer. Top Coat. Dryer. Plaque remover tool to clean edges. And $60 later we have pretty nails that goes against any practical lifestyle.

As I walked home, I had transported myself into a 'That's So Raven' reality where I realised the horrors that awaited with these brand new nails of struggle. The biggest one being, how I was going  to wipe my butt after pooping. Turns out it's actually not entirelyyy a struggle - you just need to wad up on that tissue paper heaps. However, I did/do find myself struggling to type without errors on my laptop/phone, pick my nose, pick up small items from the floor (i.e. fallen bobby pins) and pop pimples with the fear of breaking off my $60 nails.

I mean it's only been 9 hours. So maybe the worst is yet to come. Will keep you updated though.

much love,

Afra